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Birthday Party Pooper...

Updated: Aug 30, 2018



So, it seems to be prime Birthday Season at my son's daycare. Every single week, I am getting an invitation for another 3rd birthday party. It's not because that kid and my kid are especially close. It isn't even because the parent and I have become friends during our three minute drop-off/pick-up interactions. It is because the parents invite every single child in the class to their child's birthday party.

“I just don’t want to spend half of a Saturday with a bunch of parents that I don’t know, standing around watching 17 children scream and hit and cry and be crazy.”

And ya know what? I am the parent who absolutely dreads birthday parties for the other kids in my kid’s class. I just don’t understand it. My son is three years old. I have no interest in dragging him to an event at a bouncy house place or neighborhood pool or your house - even though we have never met - to celebrate your child’s birthday, whom I have also never met except for when he thinks I am his mommy coming in the door and cries when I am not.


I will totally attend birthday parties for my friends' children, because I know them and I like them. I just don’t want to spend half of a Saturday with a bunch of parents that I don’t know, standing around watching 17 children scream and hit and cry and be crazy. Not my thing. And yes, I understand that I don’t know these parents or kids because I refuse to participate in obligatory shit like this, but I’m ok with that. I just need a solid base of good friends to get me through and also, I don't really like other people's kids. Am I an asshole? Probably.


I’ll (maybe?) be more willing to attend parties like this when my child will give a shit. In a few years, like when his brain kicks in and childhood memories start to actually stick, he’ll probably enjoy some of these parties. Right now, however, at the ripe ol’ age of THREE, we’re going to do our own thing and skip the school parties. I think, if we’re honest with ourselves, every parent wishes more parents were like me so they didn’t feel obligated to host/pay for a party for 15 little a-holes just because our kids are in daycare together. To those parents, you are welcome. Happy Friday, have a great weekend!

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