To the overwhelmed mama who lost her shit in the swim school parking lot this morning and yelled at her crying toddler: I see you. I watched as you snapped, then tried to pull yourself together, pushing a stroller with one hand and dragging a tantrum-throwing threenager with the other. I heard you try to explain that her behavior was not acceptable, while glancing sideways at me, just knowing I was judging you. I felt your guilt, but I want to tell you something:
I’ve had many sleep-deprived, self-doubting, utterly failing moments wondering if I should just re-home my defiant two-year-old or get in the car and drive away for good. I have felt like a terrible parent; clueless and without a single shred of patience left. I’ve lost my temper - yelled, screamed at my children when they wouldn’t listen or couldn’t understand that I needed just ONE minute to myself. And I have cried in the shower when I was finally alone, feeling every ounce of guilt for not being able to keep it together.
My fellow shit-losing mama: you are ok. We’re in this crazy thing called Mommyhood together. When you notice that I’ve just witnessed your breaking-point, in a public place, know that I understand you wish like Hell it was in the privacy of your own home, or not at all. You wish there was a way to hold it together always - through the lack of sleep and the messes and the tantrums and the self-doubt. But the bottom line is that we can’t do it all, all the time. There will be moments of weakness and times when we genuinely wish we could go back ten years and maybe not have kids. It’s ok. You’re a good mom. Keep on keepin’ on. And let’s grab a margarita next week after swim lessons, ok? I think we could both use one. #momlife #kidsarehard #havekidstheysaid
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